Clarity in November

do not think i don't sit here
 under the barren sky and
feel the weight of the whole
  world bearing down on me
do not think that i am not
 wholly crushed by the winter
            i am
              but i have learned
  what to do to remember beauty
    evergreen inhales and clouds
  remind me to find beauty around me
 in the orange half light and
   purple midnights of snowfall
 in a dash of color and the softness
   of my blanket that will not die
  it is not like they live again
     no life is breathed into them
  no matter how much beauty i see
   but i see beauty nonetheless and
 it will have to be enough
    to be reminded that the world still
 sparkles under a fresh coat of snow
   and the warmth of another person is
  still the best thing for long nights
    in this smoky haze i let go
  of my usual burdens of grief and pain
    and i am made light again even if
  the relief is only evanescent
     
    do not think i do not sink
   under the weight of my sorrow

   but do not forget that i know
           how to swim